The Story I Never Wanted to Tell

A few years ago my sister told me an alarming story about a friend whose daughters spent the night with some friends. When the girls went home the next day they told their mom that the girls they had spent the night with had shown them pornographic videos on their phones. The most shocking part is that this happened in a good, loving home, with good, attentive parents, who do all they can to teach their children good things. It was a was a wake up call for me. I talked with my husband about it and we realized that we live in a world where it's not a matter of if our children are exposed to pornography, but a matter of when they are exposed to pornography. We decided that we needed to have a talk with our kids about what to do when they were exposed to pornography.

Unfortunately, we didn't decide when we would have that discussion with our children and we ended up not doing it. About a month later, we discovered that one of our kids had been watching pornographic videos on their phone. Apparently several of their school friends had been talking about these "awesome" videos and encouraged our child to watch them. When I caught this child watching the videos, I was horrified. I was so upset that the innocence was lost. But mostly, I was upset that we had not taken the time to discuss this with our children when we had just been warned.

The child's first reaction was "I'm sorry Mama." I said, "I'm sorry too." This child then said, "I feel so bad Mama. I just want to die." I quickly realized that there must be no shame involved in our reaction. I went and grabbed my husband and we talked with our precious child. We assured our child that their worth had not changed and that our love and the Savior's love for them had not changed. We talked about the Atonement and how it applied to the situation. We talked about what needed to happen next. We made plans and set goals for the child and for our family.

The next day we had a family meeting and lesson about pornography and discussed some new family rules. The next Sunday this child talked with our Bishop and we met with the Bishop too. We kept beating ourselves up for not having this talk with our children sooner. We wondered if it would have made a difference? We wondered if this was going to be a lifelong struggle for this child?

We now realize that us hearing that story about my friend's daughters was not a coincidence and we should have acted immediately. If we could do it all over again, we would have had that talk with our kids the very next day. So don't wait. Talk to your kids now. Talk to your kids while they are young and prepare them. Because they will see it. They will be exposed. It's not a matter of if, but when.